Things to think about

Valentine’s Day

So I woke up this morning in a grumpy mood. And when I write ‘grumpy’ I mean, ‘GRUMPY’ with a capital GRRRRR in front. I really wasn’t sure why, maybe my sleep cycle was messed up? Did I forget my crazy pill the night before? No, oh well, moving right along.

Got to work and noticed a lot of people wearing red. Being the dense soul I can sometimes be, I simply thought I’d missed the memo until finally someone comes along wishing everyone a Happy Valentines’ Day! My immediate inward response was to accidentally on purpose trip that someone, but the grace of G-d constrained my fleshly desires and I continued onward to my desk.

“Hey, call me crazy, but I think this is a good day for some time cleansing…whaddoya say?”

I was up for it, but then got distracted by some stooopid email and wound up NOT living out of my spirit, but rather my soul which was less than thrilled to be in the midst of all the flowers and balloons and happy barf.

Valentines’ Day has nearly always been somewhat of a pain point for me as a single woman, but in the last several years, I’ve done what I could to put on a happy face and celebrate something. I’ve dedicated that day of that year to Him and spent it in worship. I’ve hung out with other single friends. Served married friends and done little things to help their day be special. THEN along came the religious side of how pagan a holiday it is and I should never celebrate it or I shall surely burn. Yeah, so now that that’s all over with, I didn’t even notice that today was Valentine’s Day, BUT my soul sure did, it was off someplace kicking dirt and popping balloons.


While driving home from the office, it dawned on me that I hadn’t taken care of business like I had been instructed and this “GRRRR” thing in me was still giving happy people the stink eye.

My thoughts were directed to year’s past and I tried to think of some good moments. My heart got involved and I started thinking of people who could really whine about today being tough. Widows/widowers, those who’ve loved and lost, military families. I’m single, never married so its’ never been a particularly wonderful day for me, but it could be worse.  I could name a thousand situations, but the fact of the matter is, it could be worse.

Being mercy, I savored this for a while and was pricked in my heart at my own ‘bah humbug” attitude.  SO, back to the face of G-d. I repented…a LOT, did some time cleansing and asked the L-rd to shine His light on today and show me what I’d missed while piddling in mesmerizing spirit soup. To my utter amazement, He’d been there all day. ALL DAY and not once did I pop my head up to tell Him, “Hello” or even, “Thanks for coming with me.”

THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU HAVE MADE ADONAI. I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT. EVERY DAY is Yours and I was created for your pleasure. I was created for fellowship with You. I was made to know YOU, so here I am.

Savoring again the sweetness of His Presence. In truth, today is no different than any other day, I am meant to know Him more, know Him better every day. My apartment isn’t teeming with  flowers and there was no one (except the dog) to come home to, but its so full. There is such joy welling up in me and finally Mercy has stepped up to the front and things make sense again. Suddenly I can rejoice with others and not be jealous. I can rejoice when I see couples together and there’s a smile on my face when I see the flower truck go by. I am truly, honestly happy for people in love.

CFNI put out a song:

when i think about the Lord
how He saved me, how He raised me
how He filled me with the Holy Ghost
how He healed me to the uttermost
when i think about the Lord
how he picked me up
turned me around
how He set my feet
on solid ground

it makes me want to shout
hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you’re worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!
Hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you’re worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!

P.S. Adonai, please feel free to move the mantle of invisibility off my life. I think you want it off more than I do, so I’m choosing to connect with you there by surrendering and letting you do your thing, how & when you want to. Tonight, when I lay in bed ready to go to sleep, my mind won’t be focused on the painful things, but rather looking to what wonderful things You have planned for me. I look forward to seeing YOU tomorrow and the next day and the next day.


Comments on: "Valentine’s Day" (1)

  1. You are amazing! So proud of you. (((Hugs)))

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