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Posts tagged ‘Growth’

Progress


I can sometimes be a word-nerd. I love words. Certain words, simple and common as they may seem to most, will capture my attentions and I’ll sit and chew on that one word for days. I’ll say it a thousand times, sing it in a song, pronounce it in as many accents as I can, in as many languages as I can. I’ll play with the syllables and work every facet of the definitions that I can find. Why? I am a word-nerd.

That background being unambiguously out there, I bring the word ‘progress’ for your consideration.

Typing “Define progress” into a Google search bar will result in the below:

prog·ress
noun: progress
ˈprägrəs,ˈprägˌres,ˈprōˌgres/
forward or onward movement toward a destination.
“the darkness did not stop my progress”
synonyms: forward movement,advance, going, progression, headway, passage

“boulders made progress difficult”
I deleted some because this is the facet I want to focus on.
 
Today I’m reflecting on last week’s progress.

 

  • While in significant pain in another part of the body, it appears as though the last procedure worked on my neck. While there was a minor complication and some continued pain, the procedure as a whole is measurably better than the last. I consider this progress.
  • Nailed the week’s discipline project! Progress!
  • The moving company will be here on Thursday. Yesterday morning I felt completely overwhelmed and not at all close to being move-ready. I worked from the time I woke up until I went to sleep and this morning as I looked around to survey the day’s plan I realized that I was a lot further along and that if I needed to move tomorrow, it could happen. Progress again!
  • Work was interesting, I’d spent the previous week developing a training manual for our fairly new department. After a computer software upgrade that came without warning, I lost it all. THANKFULLY, I’d emailed a copy to a friend and had not lost it all, but in fact had about half in tact. I spent the remaining part of the week rewriting the manual and even had new information to add that I didn’t have previously. Progress again again!
  • Got the dog’s nails cut, ground down and painted red. Yes, I’m one of THOSE puppy mommas. It was long overdue. Progress again again again!
  • Experienced an untimely internal crisis with my system which came to resolution yesterday and all my little insiders learned some new things. We learned our new spiritual father isn’t the slightest bit unhinged when there is a crisis, but rather quite the encourager and while he pretty much has us pegged, even with all our craziness, he’s still actively in the game. Wow. This realization – for the team in my head is a very big deal and pretty massive progress.
  • That same spiritual father is taking on a bit of responsibility in bringing restitution to me for wrongs done in the course of my life by the prophetic movement as a whole. I’d experienced quite a bit of wounding and lost my ability to connect with G-d in worship as a result. I can play the piano all day, but its dry and lifeless. He’s going to work with me to bring healing to get it back. UNBELIEVABLE. This process doesn’t start until April, but I don’t have language yet to express this level of progress or the hope that it brings. I couldn’t even say it in Hebrew.

Small or great – progress is progress and should be celebrated. I’m celebrating my small steps with almost as much fervor as my big ones because they are all “forward or onward movement toward a destination“. I’ve written before that we are all on a journey, going some place with some purpose; we’re all fulfilling a destiny. So take a moment to look back at your week and find some moments where there was forward motion. Then go ahead, savor your experience and have a little joy in your progress, a little happy place in your journey. So yes, maybe not everything turned out the way you wanted it last week, but there was progress somewhere. Take deep breaths and just live in those moments for a while and let the ‘what should have’ beens and ‘what could have’ beens melt away as you prepare for this new week of life, new week of hope and expectancy for added progress.

 

Shavua Tov!

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Valentine’s Day


So I woke up this morning in a grumpy mood. And when I write ‘grumpy’ I mean, ‘GRUMPY’ with a capital GRRRRR in front. I really wasn’t sure why, maybe my sleep cycle was messed up? Did I forget my crazy pill the night before? No, oh well, moving right along.

Got to work and noticed a lot of people wearing red. Being the dense soul I can sometimes be, I simply thought I’d missed the memo until finally someone comes along wishing everyone a Happy Valentines’ Day! My immediate inward response was to accidentally on purpose trip that someone, but the grace of G-d constrained my fleshly desires and I continued onward to my desk.

“Hey, call me crazy, but I think this is a good day for some time cleansing…whaddoya say?”

I was up for it, but then got distracted by some stooopid email and wound up NOT living out of my spirit, but rather my soul which was less than thrilled to be in the midst of all the flowers and balloons and happy barf.

Valentines’ Day has nearly always been somewhat of a pain point for me as a single woman, but in the last several years, I’ve done what I could to put on a happy face and celebrate something. I’ve dedicated that day of that year to Him and spent it in worship. I’ve hung out with other single friends. Served married friends and done little things to help their day be special. THEN along came the religious side of how pagan a holiday it is and I should never celebrate it or I shall surely burn. Yeah, so now that that’s all over with, I didn’t even notice that today was Valentine’s Day, BUT my soul sure did, it was off someplace kicking dirt and popping balloons.

END OF THE BUSINESS DAY – TGIF!

While driving home from the office, it dawned on me that I hadn’t taken care of business like I had been instructed and this “GRRRR” thing in me was still giving happy people the stink eye.

My thoughts were directed to year’s past and I tried to think of some good moments. My heart got involved and I started thinking of people who could really whine about today being tough. Widows/widowers, those who’ve loved and lost, military families. I’m single, never married so its’ never been a particularly wonderful day for me, but it could be worse.  I could name a thousand situations, but the fact of the matter is, it could be worse.

Being mercy, I savored this for a while and was pricked in my heart at my own ‘bah humbug” attitude.  SO, back to the face of G-d. I repented…a LOT, did some time cleansing and asked the L-rd to shine His light on today and show me what I’d missed while piddling in mesmerizing spirit soup. To my utter amazement, He’d been there all day. ALL DAY and not once did I pop my head up to tell Him, “Hello” or even, “Thanks for coming with me.”

THIS IS THE DAY THAT YOU HAVE MADE ADONAI. I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT. EVERY DAY is Yours and I was created for your pleasure. I was created for fellowship with You. I was made to know YOU, so here I am.

Savoring again the sweetness of His Presence. In truth, today is no different than any other day, I am meant to know Him more, know Him better every day. My apartment isn’t teeming with  flowers and there was no one (except the dog) to come home to, but its so full. There is such joy welling up in me and finally Mercy has stepped up to the front and things make sense again. Suddenly I can rejoice with others and not be jealous. I can rejoice when I see couples together and there’s a smile on my face when I see the flower truck go by. I am truly, honestly happy for people in love.

CFNI put out a song:

when i think about the Lord
how He saved me, how He raised me
how He filled me with the Holy Ghost
how He healed me to the uttermost
when i think about the Lord
how he picked me up
turned me around
how He set my feet
on solid ground

it makes me want to shout
hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you’re worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!
Hallelujah! thank you, Jesus!
Lord, you’re worthy
of all the glory, and all the honor
and all the praise!

P.S. Adonai, please feel free to move the mantle of invisibility off my life. I think you want it off more than I do, so I’m choosing to connect with you there by surrendering and letting you do your thing, how & when you want to. Tonight, when I lay in bed ready to go to sleep, my mind won’t be focused on the painful things, but rather looking to what wonderful things You have planned for me. I look forward to seeing YOU tomorrow and the next day and the next day.

Mesmerizing Spirit – Jan/Feb Challenge


Challenges rock my socks!

At work, I do a lot of ‘special projects’. What that basically constitutes of is the most complicated, problematic issues with no resolution. I’m sent ‘problems’ to resolve. The problems aren’t clear and neither is the resolution – its just wrong somewhere, somehow and that’s all anyone knows. THOSE ARE MY SPECIALITY. Its like a grand puzzle with the pieces all mixed up in the box and I get great satisfaction out of putting them upside down, spread out all on the table and rearranging it into the beautiful picture it’s meant to be.

Now that we’ve established my nutzoid-ness, let me also submit that I am a picky weird-o. I love to listen to people speak. I love accents, various localized vernacular, tones, languages… all of it. I can spot a person from Pittsburgh, PA a mile away by the way they pronounce their perfect ‘O’. It is my favorite pronunciation of the often slaughtered vowel.

Word pronunciation – while I’m not great at it myself, I hear almost everything. Why? I have no idea. I’m a freak of nature? Anyway, musically, there are several artists that I love, but equally as many that I can’t bear to listen to simply because of the way they pronounce words. I won’t give names, but one male vocalist writes beautiful songs. The music and words have always moved me, but listening to him sing is, to me, the equivalent to nails scratching a chalk board. I can’t do it… all because of the way he pronounces the word “way.” Isn’t that ridiculous. His voice is wonderful, but its all trumped by that one pesky grate to my last reserve nerve.

Arthur Burk calls this a mesmerizing spirit. When we focus on the one good thing and ignore the bad, i.e. a preacher who can preach a house afire on Sunday morning, but beats his wife and girlfriends during the week. Or the opposite, focusing on the one bad thing and ignoring all the good, i.e. said vocalist above. He gave a fantastic example of a pick pocket distracting you with one hand, causing your focus and attention to be there rather than on his other hand slipping your wallet right outta there. I don’t want to be pick pocketed!!!

How much do I miss by being nit picky?

How much do I overlook because I refuse to call a wrong for what it is?

Not just outward life and relationships, but inwardly as well.

I limit myself because well, once I screwed up on this or that. I limit myself because I wasn’t good at a thing the first time I tried it. Since I didn’t perform it with absolute perfection and it was noticed as being less than absolute perfection, I can never do it again because obviously, I suck.

G-d will never accept me because I sinned and am therefore bad and ultimately beyond repair.

OR

Well, I went to church Sunday, or shul on Saturday. I’ve fulfilled my religious obligation for the week, listened to a sermon. I don’t need to read my Bible for the rest of the week. What, do you want me to read it every day? Isn’t that asking a bit much? Ain’t nobody got time fa that!

Sure I’m saved and going to heaven, I was baptized as a baby and I’m a good person, I do right by people.

Oh I’m covered by grace, I can do whatever and just ask forgiveness on Sunday morning. G-d will forgive me, there’s really no reason to change my lifestyle. Its not 1950 ya know. Everybody does it.

Hmmm – how many of these things have I heard/said/thought? How have I been limited in life, in my relationship with Yeshua and people by slipping into that wrong thinking and coming into agreement with a mesmerizing spirit, allowing myself to be distracted by the weird hand doing ‘something’ that bugs me and missing the thing I’m SUPPOSED to be seeing.

THE CHALLENGE:

Since it’s already mid-January, we’ll stretch this out through the end of February. I’m challenging myself and YOU, dear reader, whomever you are, to spend time daily from now until the end of February praying and asking G-d to reveal truth to our hearts. To let His light shine on us and deliver us from that mesmerizing spirit and help us to recognize it when it sneaks in.

I’ll be posting in the comments where I’ve noticed myself getting stuck in this and I invite you to do the same.

This Could Get Interesting…


Just saying.

We’re all on a journey going from some place to somewhere. While often similar, each trip is individual, each our own. How we start, who we meet, what we encounter and how we function with what we encounter is a tell-tale sign of what we’re made of.

This year I’ve set some rather lofty goals. New Year resolutions have never been my thing, my new year normally begins at Rosh HaShanna. The last several years of life have been anything but life, but suddenly I’ve been awakened and I’m going to write about it and the journey to there… wherever there is.

I have high expectations. Why? I have no idea. In the past few days, I’ve begun a process of change…radical change.

At present, no one’s reading this blog, but should you find this post or run across this blog unexpectedly, I’m curious – where are YOU going in 2014? What are your goals? What do you expect out of this year? What are you doing to get to where you’re going or hope to go? Do you have hope for it? How can I pray for you?

Lovely complicated wrappings, sheath the gift of one day more; Breathless, I untie the package-Never lived this day before!!- Gloria Gaither

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